For the most part, the ultrasound went very well. We were able to take home a bunch of new pictures and spent a good amount of time watching our baby squirm around and cover his face with his hands. He must have been a little bashful today. His measurements were normal, his heart rate was perfect, and his weight was just fine. Around 12 ounces to be exact. We also found out that the length from his elbow to his shoulder was about an inch. After the nurse was done collecting data on the ultrasound, she went and fetched the doctor so he could do a double check and let us be on our way. The doctor came in a short time after, looked over some paperwork, and told us that Adrienne’s blood tests all looked fine, and there were no indicators for any problems. It felt great to hear that. “Everything seems fine”, I thought to myself. That feeling however, didn’t last very long, and the next words to come out of the doctor’s mouth made me feel the most horrible emotions I have ever felt:

“Everything seems okay, but there may be a problem.”

If you were in the room at the time, you would have probably been able to hear the sound of my heart falling into my stomach. For some reason my mind automatically replaces the words “may be” with “is”. So of course I’m thinking to myself, “Oh my God, I did something wrong.” I somehow muttered some sort of who, what, where, how question back to the doctor hoping that I may have been mistaken. He explained to us that the ultrasound showed his small intestines being bright. Which of course can mean a million and one different things. A couple of those things being down syndrome and cystic fibrosis. I usually take things with a grain of salt, and I never fully rely on assumptions unless it has a greater chance of it being true. But even so, I was terrified. All a parent ever wants is to have a healthy baby, and anything that takes that security away can be especially heart-wrenching. What makes it worse is that you have absolutely no control over it.

Although this is a concern, it’s not something to worry and stress over. Since there weren’t any other indicators for down syndrome or CF, it makes it a very low possibility. The doctor also said that it could be blood inside his intestines which he swallowed from inside the womb. If this is the case, then it should disappear by our next visit in 3 weeks. If the next ultrasound shows the same thing we saw today, then we may have to decide again whether to have an amniocentesis. But until then, I’m not going to worry. Or, I’ll try not to at least.

Update: I did some googling today based on the information that we received from the doctor and what I found is more reassurance on why we shouldn’t worry as much. Here is what I found:

I believe she is referring to ‘echogenicities’ in the fetal bowel which is considered to be one of the ultrasonic “soft signs” suggesting that the fetus may be suffering from chromosomal abnomalities the most common one of course is Down syndrome. The cause of the echogenicities is not clearly known but would appear to be due to calcified meconium or a maldevelopment of the gut of the fetus. The risk of Down syndrome in the presence of the findings of echogenic bowel is only 1.4% according to a study form the Benacerraf group in Boston. Other groups however had quoted a higher incidence. Counselling and genetic amniocentesis appear to be justified in the presence of such findings.

 There are several items that can be found during an ultrasound exam that some researchers have felt that may have a significant association with Down syndrome. These findings may be seen in normal fetuses, but some obstetricians believe that their presence increases the risk of the fetus having Down syndrome or other chromosomal abnormality. These “markers” include choroid plexus cyst, echogenic bowel, echogenic intracardiac focus, and dilitation of the kidneys (pyelctasis). However, these markers as a sign of Down syndrome are still controversial, and parents-to-be should keep in mind that each marker can also be found in a small percentage of normal fetuses. These ultrasound markers are best used in women over 35 or those who have a positive blood screening test, to either downgrade the risk (in cases where no such findings are seen in the ultrasound exam) or confirm that the pregnancy is high-risk for Down syndrome. In women under 35 years of age with normal maternal serum screen test results, the identification of one of these findings on the ultrasound is not significant enough to make a pregnancy high-risk for Down syndrome.

It’s official, we are indeed married. Husband and wife, till’ death do us part, and the like. No ridiculous ceremony, very little planning, and best of all, no stress. Not yet at least. We decided to get a marriage license from the court, and have a family friend make it official for us on Christmas Eve by notarizing the license. Only our families were involved in this mini-matrimony, since we didn’t want it to become a big deal, which people usually tend to make things that need not be. The “Big Deal” ceremony will probably come in a year.. or two, which will involve the entire family, friends, stress, and planning.

So why didn’t we just wait until we could have the big deal ceremony? There are a number of answers for that question, all of which do not include “Love” in them. (*gasp*) Relax, i’ll explain why a little later. So why then? Avin, of course. We wanted him to be born sharing the last name of his parents, a unified whole, a.k.a. family. And also because our finances, bills, insurance, and the like all work together easier when we combine them together, as we have been for a few years now. The only difference now is that it’s “officially” combined. So why then was love not included? Well, I suppose marriage to me is ultimately, nothing but a contract. I mean, look up the defintion, that’s what it says; “The marriage vow or contract.” Love is something entirely different, it’s emotion, something that can not be put in to words very easily. And definitely not something that can be put down on a piece of paper. You can’t provide a defintion for it because it will just resist. And you don’t need a marriage license to prove that. Not that you have to prove anything to anyone, because true love exists with the only two people that matter, you and the person you love. It might even be safe to say marriage is only a way for everyone else to know you are in love. Which is silly to me, considering I believe that a relationship involves one other person and no one else. Am I trying to say that I would rather not be married? Of course not. Marriage was inevitable for Adrienne and I, just not as soon as we had initially thought. And being married just makes everything easier for us and everyone else involved. It’s a convenience which will make everything easier on us now and in the future. And like the baby, we accept with open arms.

I suppose all I’m saying is that a ritual won’t change the way I feel about our relationship. I love her with all the energy and emotion my underweight self can muster. The same way i’ve always loved her. So there you have it. We are the same unified whole as we were before, except now we share the same last name.

Marriage isn’t something you are; it’s something you do.

Back to this moment: I am indeed updating from the couch. Because I’m sick. I’ve had a 24 hour fever bug, and still feeling the congestion. The last thing I want is for her to get sick, so I’m recuperating on the couch, which just gives me reason to stay up late, watch tv, collect my thoughts, and update this website.

As soon as we found out we were having a baby, it was easy to realize a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment wasn’t going to cut it. So we moved! To a very nice 3 bedroom 2.5 bath townhome in Lake Mary (north of Orlando). We aren’t completely finished decorating yet, but for the most part it’s done. I still need an office, it’s currently in a mess right now, so hopefully I can head over to Ikea soon and pick out some new stuff! And the nursery of course, is empty, but will be completed in due time.

Can you tell?

Since this is the first entry on the site, I may as well give everyone an idea of what’s going on here. Obviously, having a child is probably the most amazing and important thing that could happen to any couple, given the situation. Due to the large amount of family and friends we have who are also involved in our lives, I wanted to give everyone a simple and easy way to stay connected with what’s happening. So, illeatyouup.com (IEYU) is here to help document and photograph the life of Avin, his mother Adrienne, and myself. It helps remind me to never forget to stand up and live, a message that I hope to pass down to Avin. And quite possibly, one day he’ll look back at this and thank me.

From here on out, the updates will come as they happen, so I’ll take this moment to catch everyone up on what they already know is going on.

Adrienne and I had always talked about having children, when we were ready of course. A connection with a child is something we have always thought was important in one’s life, but we definitely didn’t think it was something that would happen as soon as it did. Initially she had thought she was getting sick; there was much vomiting and the morning sickness was becoming unbearable. We went to the doctor to confirm what we had already predicted. While there, we were sitting in the waiting room watching a father and his daughter playing. He was pretending to be a lion, chasing his daughter around on all fours, making lots of roaring sounds and the like. Adrienne had turned to me and asked, “That’s going to be you with our baby?”. “Nah” I said, “I can roar much louder.”

I sat and waited while she went in the doctors office to get checked out. Collecting my thoughts, I tried my best to prepare myself for what I already expected to hear. The nurse came out and called for a Kevin. I paused for a moment thinking she was just calling another waiting patient. She looked at me and said, “Are you kevin? Adrienne has something to show you.” Ah crap, I thought as my legs, apparently made of jello, carried my body into the dark room where I noticed Adrienne laying, hands on her face, in tears. She looked up at me, trying her best to hold in her emotions and somehow managed to smile. The only thing I could muster was, “Oh my God.” But the moment it truly became real was when we heard the baby’s heartbeat. Time stopped and everything else in my life was put away for a moment. The heartbeat was like an alarm clock for my life, telling me to wake up. So I did. I woke up.