Doctor Negligence?
January 19th, 2008
This is something that has been on my mind ever since our last ultrasound on January 8th. I wanted to write about it in hopes that I could compose my thoughts and also get insight from others who may have had similar experiences.
My sister, who was concerned about our experience with our last ultrasound, had a discussion with a friend of hers who has been an emt/nurse for little over 20 years. The insight she gave my sister made me reconsider the situation the doctor we visited had given us. I mentioned before that I take everything with a grain of salt, and I still do, and I understand that since nor my sister or her friend were there, they won’t be able to interpret the situation to it’s full extent. But that doesn’t mean considering their insight is something I’m going to disregard.
The one thing that I keep asking myself is, “Was it right for the doctor to recommend an amniocentesis with such a low percentage indicator?” I’m not sure if he was just having a bad day or what, but he made us feel like we had a high risk pregnancy. With a 3-4% chance of down syndrome, and no other indicators, would anyone really do an amniocentesis? Especially when the risk of that test doing more damage than good is, give or take, the same percentage of having down syndrome in the first place? I just don’t see the need for a test that only gives us a yes or no, with false positives, with a risk of causing a miscarriage, just to know, when the only indicator makes it such a low possibility. The doctor didn’t seem to understand how I felt about this, and I’m not sure why.
He also seemed to mention abortion quite a few times, even when I thought I made it clear that abortion was not an option for us. Which also makes me wonder if he thought we were just some stupid young couple who shouldn’t be having a child. Either way, I don’t think he understood the effect his words had on us. If you remember the last entry about this, I had said that Adrienne didn’t even make it out of the elevator before she was in tears. I know this is our first child, but something tells me that’s not what’s supposed to happen after seeing your child move around on an ultrasound screen, so you can imagine how the doctor made us feel by what he said.
Maybe if he approached us a little different, explained himself more, and used a much happier tone, the whole experience could have been different. But since it happened the way it did, we decided we weren’t going to be seeing that doctor anymore, and I don’t think anyone would blame me for saying that.
This also makes me wonder how many oblivious and naive parents out there have experiences like this only to end up having an abortion when it wasn’t even necessary? Not that abortion and necessary should even be in the same sentence, but that’s a whole other debate in itself, and one that I don’t want to get into.
I’d like to hear some insight on what others think about the situation. And although none of you were there, and it’s near impossible for me to explain what he said and how I felt at the moment, I still want to hear what others have to say.
January 19th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Hi guys, so this is my grain of salt.
When Nana told me about this, I was horrified. The first feeling I experienced wasn’t worry for the baby because I KNOW he’s fine - it was disgust toward the doctor for even saying these things. It’s simply wrong to even throw out the word ‘abortion’ to a young, healthy woman who’s baby’s growth and development is right on target. Unless he had some cold, hard facts in his hands he should NOT have said the things he did. He could have just said that he saw some dilation of the bowel and that it’s not a big deal but that they’d check it again in a few weeks. He could have left it at that instead of talking about an amnio and Downs and Cystic Fibrosis. I don’t know, maybe these days they know people will go home and Google themselves into a frenzy and call the office back up wondering why they weren’t told. Even so, it seems there are a million and one other ways he could have handled it.
So in trying to rationalize it a bit I thought either: a) our sue-happy culture and the availability of information on the internet has forced doctors’ hands in revealing every possible scenario even if they’re terribly unlikely, or b) the guy is a complete ass. I really think it’s the latter. Sure, what they saw on the ultrasound *could* be the sign of a problem, but the odds are very, very slim. I wonder how many other babies have had the same issue and it worked itself out with no one being the wiser. When they weren’t doing so many ultrasounds, they weren’t seeing so much, ya know? But you guys know how I am about that kind of stuff - as long as the girls were growing and moving around inside I just wanted to be left the hell alone!
So anyway, that’s just my feeling on it. I don’t blame you for not wanting to go back to him. All you can do now is think positive until the next ultrasound, at which time I’m sure you’ll find all is well. If it were me, I’d find this guy while I was in the office and share a few choice words with him.
And by the way, I got Avin the coolest blanket today! I’m going to have a hard time giving it up…
January 19th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more, and it brought up another thought of how doctors decide what is the proper way of explaining something like this to a young couple with their first child, knowing that most people are just going to google and get a second opinion. (on a side thought, google is like a second doctor) With the line of good and bad, right and wrong so thin, I imagine it’s hard for doctors to decide how to approach parents in an objective way, without alluding towards either direction.
Empathy I believe, is what more doctors need to have when dealing with situations like this everyday. Knowing how a person is going to interpret certain situations can drastically determine the outcome of how it will make them feel about it. If there was an empathy scale allowing me to grade the experience, I’d have to say this doctor failed miserably.
And I can’t wait to see what you got for Avin! I’m sure he’s going to love it.
January 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Hey Dudes!
Kev, that picture of you is totally cute! You look like you’re thinking up trouble or you just made trouble!!! Anyway, that wannabe doctor was a total tool, and he obviously was not proficient in the study of human emotions and hormonal pregnant women. However, I’m glad that you and Adrienne are educating yourselves and questioning the red flags. Remember, doctors are fallable, ask alot of questions (even if you think they’re dumb), and see another doctor for a second opinon and ask the same questions. It’s better to be in the know than in the dark.
Here is my theory on the doctor: he had a 3-4% chance of having a giant pimple on the tip of his penis that kept rubbing on his speedo that he couldn’t think straight. And thaaat’s about ittttttttt!!
Hugs and kisseeees to you two and fetus.
May
January 19th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
HEy one more thing….
this quote is from what you found on the internet upon your research after your horrific appt. with that horrific doctor:
“These ultrasound markers are best used in women over 35 or those who have a positive blood screening test, to either downgrade the risk (in cases where no such findings are seen in the ultrasound exam) or confirm that the pregnancy is high-risk for Down syndrome. In women under 35 years of age with normal maternal serum screen test results, the identification of one of these findings on the ultrasound is not significant enough to make a pregnancy high-risk for Down syndrome.”
I think you should print this out and send it to him along with a letter of dismay for his poor judgment and the effect it had on you and your family not to mention the emotional distress it put on your pregnant wife.
Ok, I digress. But really, you should really send this to him with a letter and send a copy to his boss as well. Ok…I’m done…seriously.
love u guys.
January 20th, 2008 at 6:42 am
When it comes to the life and wellbeing of your child, it is always a wise decision to get a second opinion, or hell even a third. I strongly encourage and support the choice of a new doctor. In truth, I’m glad that he made the situation clear to you guys, but had he done so with a higher degree of tact I think you both would be feeling better.
Take care of that Momma of yours.
January 20th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Those are really strange things to say. Is it possible to talk with another doctor? I’d talk to another physician before deciding. Sounds like this guy could use some remedial classes in bedside manner.
January 20th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I think many doctors get to the point where they’ve seen so many people, they stop seeing individuals and start seeing just numbers. They sometimes lose sight of the human aspect. That’s not right, and I would immediately change doctors if that was our situation, but it might make it a little more understandable.
January 21st, 2008 at 6:03 pm
By all means, get lots of opinions. On the other hand, it seems possible that this doctor was trying to make sure you knew about all the *medical* options before you made this very *personal* decision. My wife and I decided against amnio for the very reasons you mentioned, but we would have been appalled if our genetic counselor and doctor hadn’t discussed it with us.
Since mostly youngish people have babies, it’s reasonable to assume that most of them have never made personal medical decisions. Assuming they haven’t had a tragic illness, people in their 20s and 30s don’t really need to participate in their medical care mostly — if they break a leg or get an infection then they do what the doctor tells them and get better.
Having a baby is different — much like the diseases we’re all likely to face more frequently as we grow older, having a baby requires that we make choices about our own medical care based on various things — the risk involved to mother and child, our own moral values, our own capacity to be parents. (”Risk” is a very difficult concept to understand correctly — even a lot of doctors don’t really get what it means.)
When doctors “recommend” a cast for a broken leg, they mean that it’s pretty much required for healing. When they describe amnio or genetic screening or induced birth or C-section or *anything* regarding a pregnancy and birth plan, it’s to give you enough information to make a decision yourselves.
It’s a weird sensation, something that most young people haven’t ever experienced, but in this case *you* know more about what’s right for you than the doctors.
And there’s my rather wordy grain of salt. (Maybe it was a whole bag of salt!)
Dd.
January 21st, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Thanks for your comment/grain of salt Doodaddy. I agree, and I definitely want to know all the options for every possible scenario, but more so in an objective way, which gives me the chance to make that personal decision without bias. The way this doctor explained, it seemed like he was alluding more towards “just do the test, and if it says yes, get an abortion”, because we were young. In most cases, young couples would be oblivious, but in my case, God gave me a brain, and I strive to use it as much as possible. My intuition just told me something wasn’t right in that situation, and in the words he said.
I’ve been through a lot in my medical history and have had to make many decisions based on different doctors and their recommendations. The one thing that my experiences has taught me was that the truth was always somewhere in the middle.